Wow.. it is already January 30th:). New year.. and going to try and lead my new life.. The begging of 08 was not much different then the others... I was leading my somewhat normal life. Junior in high school, thinking about getting a job, wondering what I would do in college, still slightly adjusting to life at home with Noah and the rest of the family, hanging out with friends and such, just living my life. Then June/July came, I got my first job at Wawas.. woo hoo:/. Summer came and I worked a bunch. Then September came and I started my last year of high school and was somewhat saddened by the fact that I had never gone to a "real" high school but soon got over that. For some reason, I thought I was missing out on something, since I didn't go to a public school. Goofball... Then October rolled around and that was when 2008 really became meaningful. November was also a big month for me. The whole global school was big... I learned so much about myself and my calling. It was all so wonderful. I grew closer to my one friend and grew away from another. My passions seemed to change and I'm still wondering what I'm really doing.
2009 has finally come and so far, it has been a wonderful year:). Mind you, it's only been 30 days of the new year, but it's been some of the best days I've ever had:).
I continue to try and seek my Papa and His presence. I find when I'm in His presence, I am at peace, I know that I belong. Just like that Cory Asbury and Matt Gilman, Where I Belong, I feel like I am made for that:). And I think it's funny, days that I am mad or just feel like poop, I haven't spent time with Him. So I'm still trying to stay faithful. Now don't get me wrong, I slip up and fail, but He always welcomes me back with this amazing, never-ending love that I still can't even begin to comprehend. Some things that I have been thinking about, He has always been jealous for me and my love, but have I ever been jealous for His?? And awhile ago, I was really thinking about that whole "living sacrifice" thing. I want to learn how to be one for Him. He at-least deserves that much of me. I'm kinda reading Crazy Love, right now, I have to pick it up again. Next, maybe a prophetic book that I got at the school of healing. I just want to know Him and all about Him. My Papa is so amazing.
Work is..... going:). I try to have a good attitude, but some days it gets hard. It's funny though, I try and write things about Him on my hand that day, that I think He is to me. Like today, I wrote, "He is peace." And almost every time I write something, one of my co-workers will see it. They will sometimes ask and I tell them what it says. Then they don't say much=p. But the other day, a girl that works with me told me she became a Christian and she really wanted to tell me about it:). Then there are others, who I don't tell that I'm a Christian and just try to be nice to them:). They will ask me, why are you so happy and nice?? haha so yeah:). I'm trying to see, that I can be a light there, even though I really hate being there. There is a purpose for me being there:D....
Friends?? Well yes, I have wonderful friends:). I love me some Victoria:D haha.. She is an amazing woman of God and I hope someday to actually be close to Him like she is:). My wonderful sister, Hannah is amazing.. I love her with all my heart. I've started to grow close to Leah these past couple of months and have loved every minute of it. She is also an amazing woman of God, continually seeking His face and His ways. Then we have Karlie:D. She is going after God more that ever and it is amazing. I miss her face very much and hope she is having a wonderful time at YWAM:). Kelsey is also amazing:). She continues to listen to me talk, all the time:) and encourages me in everything:). As for my man friends=p, I've grown pretty close with this wonderful guy, Jonathan. Always known him, but never really "known" him:) and I've loved getting to know him:D and can't wait till March:D. ahah. I talk to Alex and Chris every once and awhile and wish Chris was still living here.. Miss that guy. Bryan (more of Hannah's friend:)) has become part of the family, or so it seems=p. So yeah.. I have wonderful friends:).
So what am I hoping 2009 holds?? More of Papa. I can't wait to see where He takes me:). I still have yet to figure out where I'm going after high school, but He will tell me when I need to know, just bad at waiting:). Work wise, I'm hopefully going to be leaving Wawas soon:). We shall see:). Friendship wise, I hope I continue to grow closer to friends and I can't wait:). Other than that, just trying to fulfill my destiny in my Papa. Thank you if you have even read this far, I give you a lot of credit:).
P.S. I hoping to have a more life-changing post soon:)haha.
Know Him
<3emma
Friday, January 30, 2009
Saturday, November 22, 2008
These days....
So what have I been up to these days???? Finding my Papa. I love calling Him by that name=). But yeah, I really have. Last Friday night, November 14, God commissioned me. He told me, through others, that He would open doors for me and He has. There is so much to tell about what happened, but what really stood out to me was that I am going to be a "nurse" to hearts. And when I say nurse, I mean like, emotional nurse. It's funny, cause about a year ago, I was really thinking about going into the medical field, but awhile ago (maybe 5 or more months ago), my heart hasn't been anywhere near the medical field. I am not there anymore. I want to live in God, at His feet, in His presents, finding HIM. I am now reading the book, by H. A. Baker- Visions Beyond the Veil. So good.... It is talking about these kids getting to actually see Him and sit at His feet. They got to actually see and dance with angels, wow. It make me so jealous that I wasn't apart of it. I have been wanting soo bad to just really see His face, feel my Papa, know my Papa. So wow, that's a lottt of different things in one so I'm kinda all over the place=p, sorry.
Last Friday though, was amazing. The whole past week was amazing. Wednesday morning (the 12th), our church and many others started the School of Healing. When I first got there, I thought maybe it wasn't really going to be for me at all. I thought I would just "be apart" of it. I didn't think God was going to work through me at all so I went to every session, and just watched what God was doing in everyone else. But on Friday night, Papa met me. He called me out and again, reminded me of my destiny, in front of the whole school=p. I was a crying mess, but I don't care, at all. Prophetic preacher, leader of woman, I am going to minister to woman, I will be a nurse to the emotional hurts, angels were assigned to me, the whole kit and caboodle. If I sound like I am boasting, please forgive me. I just get really excited and anxious when I think about Papa using me and the things He will be doing through me. So Friday night, was said to be my night of commissioning and I am so excited.
So tonight, we had a dinner at our church for people that live in the apartments next to my church and I was asked to be a part of a team that gave words of knowledge. I at first was not sure if I was supposed to because I have only gotten one word of knowledge so far, so of course, I prayed and asked Papa, what I should do. He told me yes. So all week I had been praying that God would show up and use me and I think He did. Now, revival didn't break out, but (I believe) He healed a young woman through me and that was an amazing feeling. We got words for people and they all held true. The young woman I prayed for, for emotional healing;), yet again, what I believe He is using me for, so conformation again;), was touched. When one of the leaders said he had a word for a woman that had just come through a tough past relationship, got hurt, I pictured this one girl (the girl I wound up praying for;)) in my head but I didn't know if it was just me or if it was really God telling me it was this girl. So I didn't do anything but when this leader told the group about what God was telling him, I was standing near that girl and she broke down and started to cry. It WAS for her! Papa really DID tell me that!!!!!! You don't know how happy that made me feel. He REALLY was talking to ME! Ohhh myyy!! So that was sooo cool. I am really starting to feel like God IS going to use me=D. So it has been a neat past couple of weeks. I am praying now that God is really going to continue to open doors for me to step out of my comfort zone and become who I am made to me. I love you Papa=D.
know Him
<3 emma
Last Friday though, was amazing. The whole past week was amazing. Wednesday morning (the 12th), our church and many others started the School of Healing. When I first got there, I thought maybe it wasn't really going to be for me at all. I thought I would just "be apart" of it. I didn't think God was going to work through me at all so I went to every session, and just watched what God was doing in everyone else. But on Friday night, Papa met me. He called me out and again, reminded me of my destiny, in front of the whole school=p. I was a crying mess, but I don't care, at all. Prophetic preacher, leader of woman, I am going to minister to woman, I will be a nurse to the emotional hurts, angels were assigned to me, the whole kit and caboodle. If I sound like I am boasting, please forgive me. I just get really excited and anxious when I think about Papa using me and the things He will be doing through me. So Friday night, was said to be my night of commissioning and I am so excited.
So tonight, we had a dinner at our church for people that live in the apartments next to my church and I was asked to be a part of a team that gave words of knowledge. I at first was not sure if I was supposed to because I have only gotten one word of knowledge so far, so of course, I prayed and asked Papa, what I should do. He told me yes. So all week I had been praying that God would show up and use me and I think He did. Now, revival didn't break out, but (I believe) He healed a young woman through me and that was an amazing feeling. We got words for people and they all held true. The young woman I prayed for, for emotional healing;), yet again, what I believe He is using me for, so conformation again;), was touched. When one of the leaders said he had a word for a woman that had just come through a tough past relationship, got hurt, I pictured this one girl (the girl I wound up praying for;)) in my head but I didn't know if it was just me or if it was really God telling me it was this girl. So I didn't do anything but when this leader told the group about what God was telling him, I was standing near that girl and she broke down and started to cry. It WAS for her! Papa really DID tell me that!!!!!! You don't know how happy that made me feel. He REALLY was talking to ME! Ohhh myyy!! So that was sooo cool. I am really starting to feel like God IS going to use me=D. So it has been a neat past couple of weeks. I am praying now that God is really going to continue to open doors for me to step out of my comfort zone and become who I am made to me. I love you Papa=D.
know Him
<3 emma
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
He is so holy
Wow, how my heart has changed in this past week or so, in a great way.
Well to start off, Corey Russell, from IHOP (International House of Prayer) came to my church from Oct 24th- Oct 26th. And wow, was it amazing.http://www.harvestva.org/online-sermons.asp is where you can listen to his messages. You MUST listen, MUST. But as I have told the oh so wonderful Victoria, I am so full right now, spiritually. I think everyone is, though. I don't even know where to begin. I have been really trying to get back to The Word and the first day, all I could get was He is so holy. I have always known that, but for some reason, I just wept when I thought of Him and His holiness. I will NEVER and I mean NEVER stop getting revelations of Him and how big He is. I can't grasp that thought. We are such minute people and have pretty much everything on earth understood so for me, it is beyond hard to think that I will NEVER, and yet again, NEVER completely know God. As I type this, it makes me cry. He is so holy, so awesome, so magnificent, so omnipotent-All power, so.. everything great and mighty. . That's all I can say. hahaha. I mean, if you really think about it, really, it is mind boggling. So anyways... that may be nothing new to you, as it isn't to me, but I just think, sometimes it is a really good thing to think about when we think that life isn't going good, or we think we could do things better than Him, or whatever. He is so high above us. He is So Holy.
But other than that... Just other things he is showing me. I am still waiting for my breakthrough but I am pressing on.
Matthew 25:21 - "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
I want that for my life. I want to be faithful in the little things so I will be in charge of many things.
He is so holy.
know Him~
<3 emma
Well to start off, Corey Russell, from IHOP (International House of Prayer) came to my church from Oct 24th- Oct 26th. And wow, was it amazing.http://www.harvestva.org/online-sermons.asp is where you can listen to his messages. You MUST listen, MUST. But as I have told the oh so wonderful Victoria, I am so full right now, spiritually. I think everyone is, though. I don't even know where to begin. I have been really trying to get back to The Word and the first day, all I could get was He is so holy. I have always known that, but for some reason, I just wept when I thought of Him and His holiness. I will NEVER and I mean NEVER stop getting revelations of Him and how big He is. I can't grasp that thought. We are such minute people and have pretty much everything on earth understood so for me, it is beyond hard to think that I will NEVER, and yet again, NEVER completely know God. As I type this, it makes me cry. He is so holy, so awesome, so magnificent, so omnipotent-All power, so.. everything great and mighty. . That's all I can say. hahaha. I mean, if you really think about it, really, it is mind boggling. So anyways... that may be nothing new to you, as it isn't to me, but I just think, sometimes it is a really good thing to think about when we think that life isn't going good, or we think we could do things better than Him, or whatever. He is so high above us. He is So Holy.
But other than that... Just other things he is showing me. I am still waiting for my breakthrough but I am pressing on.
Matthew 25:21 - "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
I want that for my life. I want to be faithful in the little things so I will be in charge of many things.
He is so holy.
know Him~
<3 emma
Sunday, October 19, 2008
October 19, 2008
Wow, October 19th, 1995 was the day my little brother, Noah was born. That was 13 years ago. So hard to believe. It seems like yesterday he was running around, putting his blanket in the toilet, eating dirt, and cutting his own hair:). Then he hit around 7 or 8 and he started growing up, well, somewhat;-). He cared about what he looked like, sang in the bathroom as he got ready, and washed his hands constantly, yet he was still the annoying little Noah, I had always known. Funny to think, I would give anything for him to be that little annoying Noah again. Then he hit 10, playing outside all day, when my mom wasn't making him do school, calling his best friend, Noah, at 11pm, playing on the computer when he wasn't outside or doing school, and still singing his heart out. Cool thing about his singing, is that he actually has a good voice. He was and still is a kid who loves tv, music, video games, and a whole bunch of other things. Then, April 27th, 2007, the worst day of my life, he was struck by lightening and life has never been the same. That day was the last time I heard him sass talk me, last time I thought he was annoying, a lot of lasts happened that day. But they will come again. This has been a LONG journey, full of ups and downs all the time and we are still traveling on that journey. The first year was probably the hardest time I have ever, and hopefully will ever have to experience in my life. I spent many nights, crying out to God to heal my brother, to make him normal again and God has heard me. Noah isn't walking or talking, but I believe God is going to make that happen. I don't know when, but in faith, I believe it will happen. Noah is getting better everyday, but some days it is hard. He has been my joy when I come home from work, a bad day at school, when I have had a horrible day, or just in general. He sits there, unable to talk, walk and other things and still he smiles at me. I don't know how he does it, but everyday he brightens up my day. He is the sweetest, most amazing, tenderest, and funniest young man I have even known. He can't do much of anything and yet he is able to bring me joy, always. So today has been a joyful and really tough one for me. It started off very happy and now I am thinking about him being "whole" and it makes me want so much more. But I think he had a good birthday:) at least I hope he did. We opened presents about a half an hour ago and then we had cake, which he ate a lot of:). Anyways, he did have a good birthday and I am pretty sure the rest of the Addesa household had a pretty good day too:) So yes, Happy Birthday to the MOST amazing brother ever. You are my hero Noah and I love you so much.
<3emma
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